


Regrets

by actionfan



Series: Dysfunctional [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkwardness, Character Study, F/M, Fuckbuddies, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Virginity, Rating for Language, Regrets, Unrequited, and generally a bad idea, cursing, friendships, implied former friend with benefits, implied one sided relationships, introspective, it's harder than it seems, of sorts, strong desire to lose virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actionfan/pseuds/actionfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a mistake, a one-off, a release of tension and the glory of not being dead, Friends-with-benefits if you will. And it was fine at the time.<br/>But now is a different story. This is not going well. And she's not sure if either part can last. Not that she wants a repeat. But staying friends may be impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for: Cursing, implied former near death situation, also for those who care a great desire to 'lose' virginity rather than a more respectful treatment of it (so maybe it could be considered virgin shaming? or something) but I see that as likely reflecting their world. They are ninja. Virginity is probably rare by whatever age you want to imagine Sakura. And you may see this as possibly implied underage because no ages were given for a reason. I also have no idea how old they are in cannon now.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. But I did write the story.

Sakura/naruto

She is so fucking mad at herself right now because she ruined a good thing. She slept with him even though she didn’t feel a thing-- and he knew that!-- and accepted that even though she can see he was hurt by it. But now their dynamic has changed and she doesn’t know if she can fix it. And he’s still her best best friend and she can’t possibly let him go but she can’t love him either and she hates it. Hates the looks he gives her, hates Sasuke for being the lingering shadow that’s always there and that they can’t get rid of, and hates herself because she knows he wants, expects, hopes for more and that’s more than she can give because this whole thing was a mistake, mistake, mistake and now she can’t just hug and cuddle and everything else with him anymore because it’s lost its innocence (like her) and she wants to cry. Because it was just the outpouring of too many emotions and hormones and fear and oh we're alive I don't even know how after a mission gone way too wrong (and she was still going to have someone's head for that awful intel because getting these things right was their fucking job!) and he was just there after she'd really thought she was going to die a virgin which was just sad. It was glorious at the time even with awkward way too wet and eager kisses (and now she wonders if she definitely shouldn't have allowed that, made it absolutely clear that this was just sex). So many endorphins. Even getting dressed after was okay. and why why why does it have to happen like this?

Now she looks at him and just feels so guilty and awkward and she tenses every time he even casually touches her and she can tell he notices even if he never calls her on it. So he tries to touch her less and she tries to pretend she doesn't notice and she doesn't even know how to talk to him anymore. She flees and it's not like her. He flirts like he always used to because that's Naruto and instead of hitting him for being an idiot and him laughing and brushing it off she just freezes. From the outside, to people who don't know what's going on-- to civilians anyway it probably looks like she likes him. Which is also awkward because even her mother thinks so. And as people are nicer to him now and damn right they should be after everything he has done for this village! It means they're pushed together more. 

It sounds stupid and creepy to say he's like a brother to her considering what they did but she imagines it's somewhat similar. She just knows him too well to like him. They're somehow too close. She's dealt with his dirty socks and being a gross boy, and even though she will admit he's so much better with people than she will ever be and he WILL be Hokage one day he's just... not what she wants. He's too bright and too good and too much and she doesn't deserve any of it and can't handle it. And she has no desire at all to be Hokage's wife. She's gone on diplomatic missions and sat with her shishou and she knows how it works and she has enough to deal with already. She does wonder if he'll change his mind once he realizes how much paperwork is involved.

And maybe just maybe she's just carried a torch for Sasuke too long. She knows know that he's not what she thought he was as a child. She can't fix him and he refuses her help, never wanted it even when they were children. She knows what he's done and she will still fight him and kill him if she needs to to defend her village. She isn't that naive. She's not sure she'd even know what to do if they do get him back anymore or if they should, the Daimyo would probably order his death Sharingan or no. They say madness runs in the bloodline. Maybe she just hates the idea of giving up after so long.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't say I have kept up with the series at all. So hopefully these little pieces work.
> 
>  
> 
> As a side note I can just say that friends with benefits is generally a terrible idea. At least if only one side has feelings and that seems to be the case often. Of course it also depends on how both sides act after it. But usually you do it because it's not someone you want to be in a relationship with and they happen to be convenient. Find someone who's not a friend for that. Or risk a looooot of problems.


End file.
